Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.

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(207): View more from Maine

I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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(419): View more from Ohio

its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn

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(301): View more from Maryland

If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.

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(631): View more from New York

I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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(303): View more from Colorado

Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly

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(207): View more from Maine

She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂

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