I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I could fuck to npr.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
