That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
