bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
FUCK WHALES
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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