five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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