My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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