A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
