why didn't you poke me back
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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