Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
