I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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