we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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