she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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