You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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