I think my fart just growled at me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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