whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
