I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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