after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
