I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
