I'm lost and stupid without you.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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