Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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