How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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