he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
