Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
