True but thats because hes a fetus.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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