there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
