cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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