sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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