I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
