It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize