thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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