hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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