Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
