Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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