so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize