okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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