Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
