Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize