The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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