Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
