Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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