Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
