Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
