This girl is more easily done than said...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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