Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
