this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
