the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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