Your mouth is God's brothel.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
