i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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