and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
