i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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