I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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