your parents love me but you hate me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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