butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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