So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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