Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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