Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize