we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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