Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
and you fell through a lawn chair
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
