i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
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Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
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I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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