whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
